There are so many demands when the topic is love. Many often think of love just in terms of romance. But God’s servant, Apostle Johnson Suleman, says love between friends with no strings attached can be thought of as real love, and they can be just as powerful.
Itemizing three of eight different concepts of love that exist, Apostle Suleman helps the singles understand what kind of love that should be made important.
Of the eight kinds of love, the famous preacher notes that people are familiar with only three. These eight are; Storage, Ludus, Pragma, Mania, Philautia, Eros, Philia, and Agape. But people only know Eros, which is ‘sexual attraction’, Philia, which is ‘friendship’, and Agape, which is ‘general love’.
Suleman explains one particular type of love believed to be dangerous among the eight because it makes people lose control. He warns that it is a very physical form of love, which lasts but briefly and dissolves quickly because it is emotionally involved.
“Let me explain the three that you’re familiar with. Eros is when you see someone, he or she looks very attractive to you and you want to be with the person. This is what a lot of people think is love. This is what happens when a young man sees a girl and he wants to sleep with her. It is not love. Real love is commitment. Eros love is what produces unwanted children. Eros love is what you feel and can’t sleep at night and say you can’t stop thinking of a girl. When you begin to say oh I will do anything for you, I will give you anything you want, it is Eros in action. What we have been watching in movies; the ideas that have been sold to us that love is, it is Eros.”
“Philia is friendship. Many want Philia but they are not ready to move to it. It is Philia love when you get to meet a lady and tell her that oh, I love you and she says ‘let’s get to know each other, let’s do friendship’. There are some young men, especially those that are not born-again; if you’re a young lady and a young man is reaching out to you and saying ‘ ah, look at you, see how beautiful you are, I couldn’t hold myself’; stop him right there. You’re human and if you allow that thing to get into your system, you will flow along. Tell him, ‘don’t compliment me again, let’s avoid that conversation’. It should be good morning, good night. Those kinds of talks are nothing; no content, no depth. You don’t marry like that. There should be conversation outside the complement. Stop liking flattery, don’t be a flat tyre. If you invite a man to tell you nice things, you will always be a victim of life.”
“The nice things a man should tell you are things that would build your life. This is where many people have been trapped. They cannot go into friendship. You need friendship. You should have the conversation; how was your night, how was your day. This is what some people call a bestie. Bestie is purely friendship, there’s nothing attached. It is not even right if you’re in a relationship to have another person as a bestie. But because the guy; all he sees is Eros. This is why some girls will be in a relationship and will still be talking to other guys. Eros is all they are.”
“Women are emotional-oriented. Men are logical. So, the best kind of love is Agape; God’s kind of love. Those who are not born again start from Eros, they can never get to Agape. But those who are born again start from Agape, then they get to Philia and finally they get to Eros. Agape is God’s kind of love. He’s my brother, she’s my sister kind of love. You’re giving a girl money for her school fees is not because there’s something you want in return; it is not conditional; you’re giving her because she’s your sister in Christ. You’re paying her rent because she’s your sister in Christ. It is not an investment. So, you start from God’s kind of love, and if you want to have a relationship with her, you move to Philia love. And when you get married, obviously it will get to Eros. But if you allow Eros to control your feelings, you can never get to Agape.”
In conclusion, Apostle Suleman admonishes singles to be wary of physical attraction because it is not a necessary part of love. He says both Philia and Agape love are powerful, they are a spiritual kind of love, involving enormous empathy, with the concepts of charity and sacrifice within Agape in particular, making it the highest form of love for people in Christ.
