Senior Pastor of David’s Christian Centre (DCC), Kingsley Okonkwo, has revealed that his preference for slim women almost prevented him from recognising his wife as the right person to marry.
The relationship and marriage coach shared his personal experience while cautioning singles against allowing physical appearance to become the main factor in choosing a life partner.
According to Okonkwo, he admired several qualities in his wife when they met but initially struggled with the fact that she was chubby.
“When I met her, I liked everything about her—smart, spiritual, work, friends, everything, I liked everything. My only concern was that I felt she was a bit plump, she was a bit chubby.”
Looking back, the cleric said his preference at the time was largely shaped by the images of women he had repeatedly seen in entertainment and advertising.
“I like slim girls, I like slim girls. That’s what I felt. Where did I get it from? I’ve just been seeing it everywhere—in movies, in adverts, in beauty pageants,” he said
Okonkwo argued that singles sometimes become convinced about the type of person they want despite having no practical experience of marriage.
He said this could lead people to place too much importance on physical qualities without knowing how those preferences would affect a long-term relationship.
“You think you will not like a woman that is not slim. Have you married one before? So, it’s speculation,” he stated.
Drawing from his own marriage, Okonkwo said qualities such as a partner’s behaviour eventually become more significant than body shape or other physical features.
“Because when you marry somebody, especially for long term, their behavior will be more important than their shape,” he said.
He further warned that physical attraction alone cannot guarantee intimacy or happiness when serious problems exist between a couple.
“That slim girl you are talking about, if she’s wicked, you will not have s+x with her for six months. There are men that are so provoked by their wives, they can’t get an erection to sleep with her.”
Okonkwo therefore advised unmarried people to be careful about making major relationship decisions based entirely on what they consider their preferred physical “spec.”
He encouraged singles to learn from people who have practical experience of marriage, arguing that assumptions made before marriage may turn out differently when faced with the realities of living with a spouse.
